Are you the type of self loathing individual that enjoys a good insult every now and again? Take these:
Thou spleeny guts-griping malcontent!
[Thine] face is not worth sunburning.
Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.
Thou odiferous boil-brained measle!
You are as rheumatic as two dry toasts.
Thou venomed clapper-clawed clack-dish!
How now, wool-sack, what mutter you?
Thou villainous motley-minded foot-licker!
Gotta love Shakespeare.
The Shakespearean Insulter will take your self esteem down a few notches. And it will feel good.