Headlines

On most every Monday night Jay Leno does his infamous Headlines where people send in mistakes or funny stuff out of newspapers. They are always hilarious. Tonight my favorite one was an article about a prison in some local town. The article said something along the lines of: The Knitting Program for Inmates to Make Ski Masks Has Been Discontinued. I'm dead serious and the headline was as well. The thing I want to know, is what genius started the program to teach knitting not blankets but ski masks, to prisoners? I guess they figure they'll slip back into a life of crime anyway so let's make sure our prisoners are fashionable while they rob banks...

STAR WARS III

Sorry for not posting for awhile but my stupid internet connection does not seem to like me. It knows I need on the internet and it deliberately doesn't work in return. I swear it is out to get me. The evil evil internet connecter.

So, what came out this weekend? I'll give you one guess, and of course you will say "STAR WARS!!!"
And then I will say, "congrats, you guessed right," and then we will talk about how awesome it was.
I will say "my favorite part was when Anikin put on the Darth Vador mask."
You will say "my favorite part was one of the many light saber fights."
Then I will say "I liked that too,"
And then you will say "yay, Star Wars."
Followed by, "that was my favorite episode since it put all of the puzzle pieces together"
And I will say, "mine too,"
I will also say, "Hayden Christensen was lookin' pretty good, huh?"

Then after some akward silence we will both say in unison, "Yay, star wars!"

Useless Information

I've scouraged the virtual world to bring you some useless information to fill up valuable brain space. Read at your own risk. Once you know, you will never be able to forget and clear up that precious memory for important stuff. You have been warned:
- The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
- There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
- Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."
- Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
- American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
- There are more chickens than people in the world.
- A cockroach can live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
- A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.
- More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
- There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
- No president of the United states was an only child.
- Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes on one foot.
- When the Titanic sunk there was 7,500 lbs. of ham on it
- You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
- The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.
- If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
- Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
- Cotton candy's original name was "fairy fluff."
- The name "Uncle Sam" for the U.S. came from a person known as Uncle Sam Wilson of Troy, NY, who supplied food for the U.S. army in the war of 1812.
- One of the largest carriers of hepitius B is diner mints.
- Sliced bread was patented in 1954.
- Canola oil is actually rapeseed oil but the name was changed in Canada for
marketing reasons.
- There's an average of of 178 sesame seeds on a Big Mac bun.
- Nutmeg is very poisonous if injected intravenously.
- Five Jell-O®™ flavors have flopped: celery, coffee, cola, apple and chocolate.

Survivor

Tonight the final episode of Survivor is on for three hours! I can't wait. I am hopeful for Ian to win, since my favorite competitor ever, Stephanie, got voted out a couple weeks ago. We shall see. Survivor is the prime example of the classic reality TV show. We have Survivor to thank for spurring on America's reality TV obsession. Thanks Survivor for hooking me to the boob tube!

Suffering

So upon the request of Emily, I shalt blog upon our shopping trip on Tuesday. Emily, Tami, Katie, and I went to the Gettysburg outlets and shopped our little hearts out. They have a beloved Old Navy there, and I myself found some fancy deals on clothes. We had a lot of fun. That was our reward for finishing finals, and a good one too.

While talking on the phone with Emily today let me tell you what she suggested. Emily thinks that famine and disease are good because they are a means of population control. She said, "In an ideal world" for example, famine would wipe out millions of people. This was the funniest thing I ever heard, that an ideal could equal the suffering of so many. Perhaps ideal was not the right word, but a natural world? if scientists just hadn't come up with all these new inventions then people wouldn't be alive that naturally would be dead. I had a tough time convincing her that pain is essentially bad, because she holds onto the thread that suffering is good because it makes you stronger and such. Sure, but still the pain part of it is still bad, only the effects can sometimes be good. I beleive God allows bad things to happen, not only to produce some good from it but also to punish the sin in the world Suffering is a two way street, it can be good yes, but more so it is bad and that is just it. It's been awhile since I've had a good debate. Please feel free to leave your thoughts, especially you Em.

...to Grandma's house we go!

Yesterday and today I spent at my Grandma's house to keep her company while my pappy went to his cabin. We had a blast. We played evey game imaginable and I remained victorious in most of them. (evil laughter) And, mmm, mmm, Grandma makes the best ham and potatoes ever. This morning I made her pancakes in return. Even special ones with chocolate chips in them. Tasty I must admit. Today I finally recieved the shirts that I bought on ebay, but sadly one is too big and another is too small. I think the lady put a kids size in with adult size. That makes me angry. Plus I can't even resell it because the tags are cut in half and there's some kind of writing on the neck of it, that was not listed in the description. Serves me right, huh, for buying crap off of ebay. Unfortunately not all the people in the world are honest ones.

What do you call a PHOBIA of phobias?

So I came across a list of all the phobias that exist. They are all real. If you want to see the complete list click here. This is a MUCH abbreviated version. I picked out the ummm, interesting? ones.

Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.
I thought Johnny smelled a little funny again today.

Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.
So if your fear turns you into your most feared what happens then?

Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
Alrighty then.

Anthrophobia or Anthophobia- Fear of flowers.
Awww, how sad.

Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Know a few with this one.

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
I just pitty the guy that had to sit in a white room while scientists observed him eating the PB he was deathly afraid of.

Arrhenphobia- Fear of men.
Ha

Aulophobia- Fear of flutes.
Yeah, I remember those flute players from high school. Hmmmm. -Just kidding, the fluties were wonderful

Autodysomophobia- Fear of one that has a vile odor.
Don't make friends with the Ablutophobe (see above)

Automatonophobia- Fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues - anything that falsly represents a sentient being.
Did you hear Madam Tussad's just debuted their Paris Hilton wax statue?

Bogyphobia- Fear of bogeys or the bogeyman.
So we have concluded the bogeyman exists have we?

Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness.
Gee, harsh

Carnophobia- Fear of meat.
MEAT, yum.

Chaetophobia- Fear of hair.
Hair? This one must've been established in the 80's...

Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns.
I just can't understand why a child would be scared of the only 40 year old man at their birthday party in white face paint.

Decidophobia- Fear of making decisions.
Yeah, that one is me, but ya know, I can't really decide if it is-- it scares me.

Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms.
Creepy

Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope.
Why?

Papyrophobia- Fear of paper.
Ahhh, the paper, it's so intimidating!

Parthenophobia- Fear of virgins or young girls.
I think I'm a little scared of the person that is scared of the girls. What kind of phobia is this?

Phagophobia- Fear of swallowing or of eating or of being eaten.
Being eaten isn't a concern to be taken lightly...

Politicophobia- Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.
Don't we all?

Pteronophobia- Fear of being tickled by feathers.
What if it were tickling by say a piece of grass or something?

Soceraphobia- Fear of parents-in-law.
Could they really be that bad?

Urophobia- Fear of urine or urinating.
That's a problem. Hope you got a big bladder.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
I think this one sums it up: hahahahhahahahaha!!!!

Playdough + ice cream = Yummy

Today was my first day back working at the Links this season. And so the summer begins handing out putters to ungrateful children and scooping ice cream for the chocoholics.
Speaking of ice cream, we got a new flavor from Hershey's-- playdough. I tried a bite, and it is much like the flavor cookie dough. I still just feel like there is something disturbing about eating a spoonful of something called play dough. It doesn't help that is colored bright yellow and has chunks of red and blue "play dough" disbursed throughout it. Everyone ate it as a child, but it was always too salty for my taste. And, I'd always get that sick feeling after ingesting that flour and water and salt and who-knows-what-else mixuture. Regardless, if you ever are in Shippensburg, you gotta come play mini golf and try the playdough icecream. It can be tasty if you just get past the name.